by Harold and Bette Gillogly
We’ve talked about the first four ingredients you have to choose to practice in your marriage IF you want it to last. (Ingredients in. Results out.) See those articles in the “Recent Posts” in the right margin. Here are ingredients five and six:
- Talking Together Choice: So you sat your man down and demanded he “share his feelings” with you, and it didn’t work. Bet that was frustrating.. for both of you! Men’s minds do not work like women’s. Surprise! But here’s a little secret that your husband probably doesn’t even know himself. For guys, talking together naturally evolves from doing stuff together. Men find it easier and more natural to talk over, around and about activities. Be smart, wives. Take advantage of this male friendship pattern and make that choice to do stuff together.
We are not saying talk only around activities, but it’s a terrific place to start. Because when you get used to talking about routine things together, you will eventually become comfortable talking about deeper things… even feelings.
And now, here’s our #1 tip for taking your communication up a huge notch: Read the Bible together and pray together regularly. What’s that got to do with communication? Everything! When you read the powerful, life-changing word of God together and talk about what it means to you, your talking together will become more personal and intimate. And when you pray together, that takes you to a whole new level, because there are three of you – you, your spouse, and Almighty God – in the conversation. If you’re honest, you will find yourselves talking about deep stuff you’ve never talked about before. This is a great way to obey Hebrews 10:24. And let us consider how we may spur [encourage] one another on toward love and good deeds.
Choose the Talking Together Choice!
- Treat Your Story with Respect Choice: We’re talking about your “remember when’s.” That’s your story! It’s like a patchwork quilt, with every piece (every happening) sewn snugly to all the other pieces. As the years go by, and new pieces are added, it will become a quilt large enough to keep you both warm during the cold spells. Your present problems and irritations won’t look as big when you see them in relationship to the whole quilt. You can get through them this time just like you did before!
Remember, you are writing your story every day: happy moments like that walk at sunset, and the sad times like rushing your baby to the emergency room at 1 AM. Every “we experience” is a new piece added to your quilt of life together. Treat your story with the respect it deserves. Sure, you have a ways to go. But just look at how far you’ve come! God often told the Israelites to respect their story. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way…. (Deuteronomy 8:2).
Choose to Treat Your Story with Respect!
Make sure you read next week’s blog ‘cause we are going to share the last two secret ingredients that will make your love last forever!
We encourage you to keep following our blog. We have lots and lots of suggestions to share with you and how to put them into practice. They have worked for us for 53 years of marriage. We know they will work for you because they are based on God’s unchangeable word! We also encourage you to read our article Bonding to the Max (https://marriages.net/bonding-to-the-max/). Also watch our webinar Getting Closer to God and Each Other, (https://marriages.net/webinars-3/closer-together/) for more help in making your love last forever.