By Harold and Bette Gillogly Forgiving someone – that is canceling their debt and pardoning their guilt – doesn’t always mean we can save them from the consequences of their offences. Here’s an example of what we’re talking about: One afternoon, our high school daughter came to us crying. She had skipped school that day […]
Archive | Anger Issues
What Does Forgiveness Mean?
Anger Issues Relationship SkillsBy Harold and Bette Gillogly There are two different kinds of forgiveness. Wow! Who knew? First, it means “to cancel a debt, to pardon or remit guilt.” That’s probably what you always thought it meant. Right? The second kind of forgiveness is “to relinquish resentment against the debtor.” This second meaning is harder to understand, […]
How to Handle the Silent Treatment
Anger Issues Communicationby Harold and Bette Gillogly Whether you are the Silence-er or the Silence-ee, when silence is used as a weapon, everybody gets hurt! Norm Wright once said that more marriages today are dying from silence than from violence. He’s right. Silence can be very flammable and feeds the fires of conflict. Do you use silence […]
Why do I Still Feel Hurt Even Though I Chose to Forgive?
Anger Issues Forgivenessby Harold and Bette Gillogly Wait a minute. I already forgave him, so why do I still feel the same old hurt sometimes? Didn’t I do it right? Maybe I need to do it again? Why didn’t God take away the hurt when I forgave the guy? What am I doing wrong? Yeah, we used […]
How to Get Those “Forgivey Feelings”
Anger Issues Forgivenessby Harold and Bette Gillogly So you chose to forgive, but you still don’t have those “forgivey feelings”? You didn’t wake up one morning and say, “I’m not going to feel resentment toward that guy anymore”? That’s because it simply doesn’t happen that way. Want to know the secret to “feeling forgivey”? Your feelings will […]
Oh, Those Little Irritations
Anger Issues ForgivenessBy Harold & Bette Gillogly Some days everything bothers me. Like a pebble in my shoe. And I’m just irritable… grumpy at everybody. Can you identify? By evening, I’m left with a wasted day. I let little irritations enslave me and steal all my joy. And I was a generous grump, spreading irritableness in my […]
Reconciliation Is Not Just a Nice Thought
Anger Issues ForgivenessBy Harold & Bette Gillogly God commands us to be reconciled to one another. It’s a command, not just a nice goal to think about or wish for. Each of us is commanded to reconcile with both the one who offended us (Matthew 18:15) AND the one we offended (Matthew 523-24). Whoa! Even if your […]
Cure for Bitterness
Anger Issues ForgivenessForgiveness…might just be the most beautiful word in the English language. Since all we wrote about last month was fighting and anger, fuedin’ and fussin,’ it’s about time to talk about how to stop all that and find resolution and reconciliation. And that’s where forgiveness comes in. You see, if we don’t forgive, the acid […]
Unmet Expectations and Anger
Anger Issuesby Harold & Bette Gillogly 100% of your anger comes from your unmet expectations. That’s hard to believe, isn’t it? OK, let’s unpack it a little bit so we can understand how this impacts everyone us. Maybe you’re a wife who is really angry at her husband. He doesn’t pick up after himself. Leaves his […]
Hard Truths about Anger
Anger IssuesHere are some secrets about anger you probably don’t want to hear. We don’t like them either, but we have to grit our teeth and take them to heart because they’re TRUE. Expressing your anger does not lessen your anger. It usually increases it. “WHAT? I just want to blow off some steam. Get it […]