Anger Issues

Unmet Expectations and Anger

by Harold & Bette Gillogly

100% of your anger comes from your unmet expectations.  That’s hard to believe, isn’t it?  OK, let’s unpack it a little bit so we can understand how this impacts everyone us.

Maybe you’re a wife who is really angry at her husband.  He doesn’t pick up after himself.  Leaves his clothes where he takes them off.  You’ve told him over and over again to pick them up and put them in the hamper, but there’s his pants on the floor next to the hamper…again.  And you are fuming.  Why?  “Because,” you say, “I’ve told him a hundred times to pick them up and put them INTO the hamper.  Is that too much to expect?”  Whether it is or not, you are angry because he did not meet your expectation. You expected him to listen to you and do what you asked him to do.  You’ve expected this over and over for how many years now?  You still aren’t getting what you want from him.  And you are at the boiling point.

The reality is that you will never be able to handle your anger until you learn to handle your expectations.

This is exactly what the Bible describes in James 4:1-2a: What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but don’t get it. (NIV)

That Scripture hits the nail on the head, doesn’t’ it?  All those fights about his stupid clothes on the floor, but nothing ever changes!  Want to know how to handle your expectations and your anger?  We invite you to experience our webinar series on Anger and Conflict.  Interact with it and discover how to finally conquer the anger, and fighting, and unmet expectations.  To see a free webinar in this series go to .

Want to deal with Anger Peacefully?